Emily Dickinson on the Fate of Fulfilled Desires

By Steven Scheer

Have you ever been warned about what you wish for? On the grounds that your desire may get fulfilled? The warning is usually an implication of possible regret. That's not exactly what Emily Dickinson is up to in one of her most beautiful poems, but her idea hovers around that notion. Here, to begin with, is the poem (which is #579 in the standard edition):

I had been hungry all the Years -
My Noon had Come - to dine -
I trembling drew the Table near -
And touched the Curious Wine -

'Twas this on Tables I had seen -
When turning hungry, Home
I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
I could not hope - for Mine -

I did not know the ample Bread -
'Twas so unlike the Crumb
The Birds and I, had often shared
In Nature's - Dining Room -

The Plenty hurt me - 'twas so new -
Myself felt ill - and odd -
As Berry of a Mountain Bush -
Transplanted to the Road -

Nor was I hungry - so I found
That Hunger - was a way
Of Persons outside Windows -
The Entering - takes away.

The drift of this poem should be clear - a person may be desirous of something, something that she may have often seen and wanted, but when that something becomes available to her, the fulfillment of her desire seems to become anticlimactic. This paraphrase, though, isn't really all that satisfying.

What I find interesting is the fact that only two items are mentioned on the Table in the poem - bread and wine. It so happens that in Christianity bread and wine are sacramental in that they refer to the Last Supper - and later come to represent the body and blood of Christ, the "sacrificial lamb." Yet the poem is otherwise not religious. It seems to reflect a "mere" personal disappointment in having gotten to the point of a desire (for which Emily used the metaphor of "hunger") being fulfilled.

Notice the action of the poem as well. It seems that what Emily keeps desiring (for "years") is something that she sees displayed in a shop window on her way home. Then, without further explanation, she gets access to the "store" and finds herself "like a fish out of water." The final stanza has always been my favorite - I love the sound and sense of the last four lines. In fact, it would be a sin to try to paraphrase them, so I am simply going to repeat them - as they spell out the meaning of the entire poem:

Nor was I hungry - so I found
That Hunger - was a way
Of Persons outside Windows
The Entering - takes away.